Adults in the room. A Substack about Kids These Days.

A sometimes cheeky, sometimes finger-pointing adventure in thoughts about how best to protect our kids, families and communities. Adults in the room. is a knock-on project following the co-authorship of Kids these days: Understanding and supporting youth mental health with Dr. Will Dobud. Will and I agreed we needed to keep the momentum and help ‘move the needle’ in addressing the issue of youth mental health today. Expect some uncomfortable yet shockingly obvious truths to be shared and be prepared to hear the call to action as adults who can make a difference in the lives of our kids. Here we go.

Early, and more recent, influences.

I grew up in a Do-It-Yourself family and community. It was in the north and far from recognizable places. Void of most modern conveniences and entertainment. You know, where its cold and dark for more than half the year, and if you wanted something done, you usually did it yourself, or bartered with someone close to help you do it. Few had any notion of depending on the government or any organizations to provide for them. It was hard to be selfish in this place. You had to be there for your neighbours. While everyone knew everyone else’s business, at least you knew you could rely on the community to come through when in need. My early years in the north informed and solidified my values as a friend, father, husband, educator and therapist. It may have left me with some stubborn and thorny behaviours too. Nothing utopian or precious about growing up in northern communities called Rainbow Lake and Peace River! My writing will reflect these influences so you may as well get a “head’s up!” now.

My work life has been driven by a simple desire; to connect with people and support them in reaching their goals. Human and social service work is often stressful and disheartening as the systems we engage are often uncooperative and driven by conflicting values—usually budgets and political trends. As far as a career path can be defined, I am grateful I’ve been able to work often in the outdoors as a leader and facilitator of other’s experiences for health, education, or healing since the late 1980’s.

From engaging in adventurous activities, connecting with nature, to traveling in remote places in other parts of the world, I have seen how simple things can become far more important and helpful, and how some seemingly important things can become simple distractions of less value. Guiding people in the outdoors, working in social services, and parenting have one thing in common. To put the needs of the person I am walking with high on my list of responsibilities, the most important variable, influencing my actions, behaviours, and words. A second commonality is that we often had few resources, so we were instead resourceful. Getting by with what you have forces you to look closely at issues and be quite pragmatic in your decision making.

Frustration arises when I find myself working or engaging in groups or organizations where pragmatic resourcefulness is lacking. Whether there is an abundance of resources, like senior leadership positions at a university, or where dominant ideas are hard to translate to practice, such as much of the academic literature. I also get quite frustrated when my colleagues can’t say publicly what they will say in private. This prevents action. Self-censorship is dangerous and yet now all too common. Our fears of being called out, cancelled, or damaging our careers is disheartening to observe. Working at a university that claims to stand for truth is undermined when its professors are not willing to profess. This is not a problem of higher education alone.

More recently, Will and I were waxing on about how the field of psychotherapy perpetuates myths and continually re-hashes old claims and narratives, and yet at the same time, we hear of a youth “mental health crisis.” We investigated the topic for 2 years and ended up publishing a book on the topic. No sensationalizing. Running parallel to that we were embroiled in some spicy research regarding the troubled teen industry in the US, specifically wilderness therapy. We supported each other, and a few other colleagues along the way, to ensure we were doing quality ethical research and writing what we could both publicly and in the academic literature. Our interest in making a meaningful impact grows.

The plan is to attract a community of readers, thinkers, and provide a place for dialog about how best to serve kids these days.

So, we plan to address a wide range of topics related to kids these days, and how we can assist in battering their futures and not get in the way as ineffective adults. We’ll try where we can, to go beyond complaining, and offer actionable solutions or at least propose calls to action. We invite dialog on these posts, and hope to be re-inspired by your words and influence.

I plan to write at least 2 posts per month, ideally every two weeks. Will will hold me accountable and will contribute often. Content in the early posts will reflect ideas generated in the book Kids these days with Will Dobud, and then eventually branch out addressing other topics affecting young people today.

To start, I have no need to use the subscription feature, but hey, who would reject support. If you appreciate the content and want to support me via the subscription options, please fill your boots. Financial support can free me from other paid work necessary to keep the lights on! I’d rather be writing anyways. I hope, eventually, to be able to offer some extended content, or live meetings using the “paid subscribers” option once the Adult in the room Substack gets up and running. That would allow for direct interactions, likely video calls and presentations.

This photo below reminds me of a Louisa Alcott quote we used in our book Kids these days.

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship”

Adults in the room. is a new adventure and we are heading out into the open waters—where boats were designed to go.

Adventurously,

nevin